There was an
absence of something; something real, something true. You can’t see it. You had
to feel it. No one could point it out from across the room; it had to be felt
in someone’s heart.
I
loved him. Not just any love. The kind of love you see on movies. The kind of
love you see people searching for their whole lives. I was searching and
searching, miles and miles for something that was right in front of me. This
love wasn’t just love. It was deeper. There is no deeper thing than love…
right? If there was I felt it.
Love
isn’t just one word. When it is said to someone, standard protocol is to say, “
I love you”. When said together “I love you” is a phrase. It is 3 syllables, 5
vowels, 3 consonants, 2 nouns, many meanings, a big lie, one emotion, and a
rare truth.
They
are words that I would say if one thing wasn’t in the back of my mind holding
me back “What If”. "What ifs" haunted me every night while lay in
bed, they stand between every wish, every dream, and every fantasy that one can
have. I was about to put everything to rest with one conversation that I was
still in shock about having. You can never mentally prepare yourself enough for
this moment.
In
fact, no one is ever afraid to tell someone that they love them, they are
always afraid of what kind of reaction they will get. If I knew what he would
say. I would of told him years ago. Since I am not a reader and DO NOT have the
power to read minds, I have to take a chance, put on my big girl pants a take a
giant leap of faith. This leap wasn’t like any other leap… like from the
woodchips to the grass on the playground. This was like jumping out of a plane
while skydiving and not knowing if your parachute will work when you are ready
to pull it. I was moments away from jumping and knowing for a fact if this
parachute was going to be there when I needed it most. This was the moment of a
life time.
“ How long have you felt this way?”
“ I don’t know… five years.”
“Why didn’t you say any thing. All those times
when I came to you for advice you never thought you should of say “Hey bro! I’m
in love with you!”
“ I don’t know. I didn’t want so seem
weird. You always seemed so happy, and we were going so well… I didn’t want to
sacfirice anything.’
“Yeah. There has to be something else. You’re
my best friend. You would of told me.”
“ Well yeah, There is. I was never afraid
to say the words “I love you” I was afraid of what kind of reaction I would
get. Right now I am getting no reaction. Which Is good and absolutely terrifying.
You could walk out of here and never speak to me again…”
“You know that’s never going to happen”
“Let me finish… You could say your okay
with it but then what’s going to happen tomorrow? Huh?”
“ I don’t know.”
“Me either.”
“I just wish you would of said something.
Maybe I could of done something sooner. All I know right now… Is that I feel
the same for you. “
“You don’t have to lie and spear my
feelings. I’m a big girl. I can take it.”
“Well then take this, because I love you.”
My Perfect Fairy Tale,
By: anonymous
