When there is this one person, who knows you like the back of your right hand. He makes you laugh when it feels impossible. He can always get that sappy reaction out of you when he says something sweet even when you try to put up a wall so that no one can get in. He breaks that wall each and every time... Without even trying. So effortlessly.
We've been best of friends since we were "this" high. So why do I get so nervous every time he walks by? Every change I get that we can hang out or talk or just be together I take it. When ever we are together I forget about everything. About school, life, friends, problems that I am always forced to fix... I think back to when we used to be back in Elementary School and all of those problems were nonexistent. When I was his best friend and he was mine. When we used to laugh at silly stupid things. When our only homework was to go outside and enjoy the beautiful day. When I didn't have to worry about someone else becoming his best friend.
It's stressful. Not knowing if your the only one who has feelings for someone. Your too afraid that things will change, so you simply bite your tongue and say nothing. I have said nothing for over four years. I'm done waiting and hoping. You just hope that someone out there is spending enough time and energy on you as you spend on that one person. It feels hopeless. Your heart is heavy. Your head and heart don't agree. You will lie in bed one night and go on and on forever in your head explaining how your done and can't take the heartache anymore. Because you don't want to put yourself through it anymore and feel like you have no energy left for one person. The next day something will happen that makes you regret what you said and turn back.
Nothing will change. Its cool hoping and praying tho.
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